Monday, July 21, 2014

Back in the USA! July 21, 2014

first of all-my ride to the airport in mexico was an adventure-he went 100 the entire way at 3 am, and i threw up 5 minutes away from the air[port. oh it was so fun. haha EW NOT!!!
anyways the flights were good and we were safe-and talked to some people in between sleeping, and gave away some BOMs and our testimonies it was great:)
and i got to Tennessee and slept in the mish prez's home-they are AWESOME! find her on FB maybe-machel Anderson
she put pics on;)
and we have ipads and I'll be able to be on Facebook in a few months if i want idk yet. haha but the ipad is sick i get to look up talks and stuff and it helps me!
k so i got to my area-called Murfreesboro TN, right right next to MTSU-middle tennessee state university. maybe ill get to see lots of people to teach in august when school starts!
and also my trainer is Hermana Smith-from west jordan she is the sweetest! i love her to death. she always tells me how good I'm doing in Spanish and shes just so sweet. and she kinda had a hard time at the beginning too, so she tells me about her experience to let me know that its normal to feel how I'm feeling.
this is so scary! its so overwhelming and i pretty much have zero confidence and I'm nervous all the time.
but its okay shes given me a bunch of talks to read and they help tons. and i love her. she is an amazing missionary and i hope to be like her one day, i keep working so hard. i keep reminding myself I've been here a week and shes been here for 10 months, if i keep working hard i will be better.
I've literally never worked harder for anything in my life-and that's saying something cause i worked so hard in school, gymnastics, and piano..everything i do i work hard, but this is different. I've invested all of me into this work, because it is so important.
i have a few stories to share:
yesterday was my first sunday and i kinda wanted to die. it was so hard and overwhelming. so much spanish and MUY RAPIDO! :( but i kept trying. and in the morning i read a lot about patience in Preach My Gospel under christlike attributes- hey i really encourage you to spend maybe 30 minutes to study this, it is amazing.
and i just learned how i need to be patient with myself. and with my trials. my trials right now are that i am lacking the confidence i need, and the spanish is hard...anyways, so i remembered what i learned that morning when it was the end of church and i wanted to die. 
it was so hard i honestly was like why am i even here!? I'm not helping anyone I'm literally taking up space. i was struggling and I was dying so hard. and i could not do it anymore. 
sorry that is so sad and depressing. haha but i ended up having a good day-and the rest of this letter will tell you what happened. 
then we also went and taught 3 families;and that helped alot! seeing the children and the entire family struggling, but hearing them talk about jesus and what we can do to be good was so sweet. the kids said answers like, pray, help others, love, keep the commandments, be nice, just cute simple things like that that sometimes i think we forget about. we just need to do those simple things and the lord will help us even more. i love love that we need to become innocent like a child, cause its so true! i saw that yesterday and they are the ones who really helped me.
next is the family we went to, 10 yr old kevin is getting bapttized on saturday! we taught him the Word of Wisdom. and his dad speaks only spanish so during dinner and while i helped him clean up, he helped me with spanish. everyone is SO willing to help me-its amazing, and its cool cause they just barely met me and they love me enough to see I'm struggling, and to help me. That's how i know i am in the right place, cause the lord knows i need help, and hes prepared these people to open their hearts and homes to me to help me feel better.  its so sweet. 
and then another family - these guys i just met yesterday for the first time. and they were also so sweet to me and so willing to help me. 
loving the people you serve is the most important-and its so easy for me to love others so that's a big blessing.l honestly love the people i meet and teach, from the moment i see them. its such a good feeling and i know its a blessing from the lord :)
basically what I'm saying now is that I'm glad i studied patience yesterday morning, cause i needed it later.
and i know that everyday is so hard for me, before my mission, i would have a bad day ya know, like normally. but here, its like each day is full of good and bad feelings. its literally an emotional roller coaster and its hard to live. but i have seen that i always get happy and feel good, so i just remember those times when I'm feeling so down. and it really helps.
i read Alma 17:10-11 and it taught me a lot. i love that scripture. read it its beautiful:)
I've never prayed so much in my life-i know i say that always. ahah but its true. i pray for help always and guidance and the spirit. and i know with all my heart that the lord listens, i can feel him. its beautiful. its amazing that he lets us struggle, only so that we can grow closer to him. i know he puts hard things in our life, but his design is perfect. and he knows how to help us, and how to guide us to help.
visiting those families last night, reassured my of the reason i am here. because life is so hard, there are so many different trials and situations that we are put through, but no matter what it is, this gospel can bring a light into our lives.
I've seen it. I've been here a week, but just talking about the miracles of this gospel, with someone for a half hour, i can really see them change! and see their heart lighten, and also their burdens. i know this gospel is true, and i know it can help us in every aspect of our lives. I'm so grateful I've been so blessed to have grown up in this gospel,. with my wonderful family :) I'm so glad i have this (hard) opportunity to share what i know, and to help someone. it is amazing.
sorry I'm rambling and all my emails are super super crazy!!
i might encourage you to read 2 Nephi 4:17-35, i read it this week and it's when Nephi is begging for forgiveness. i just know how easy it is to say sorry please forgive me i did this wrong, but we need to follow the example of nephi and pray with all our hearts to be forgiven. forgiveness is not a light subject, christ gave his whole life for it. we need to treat it with respect, and i learned that alot through this chapter:)
this work is so hard, but i know i can do it! i know. I've gotten the feelings that i can do it. 
i love you so much guys!!! ill try to send pictures. 
this is hard work, but I'm not giving up! I'm praying for help and strength and like i said before, i know i can do it! i just gotta work work work and have a good attitude! and work on and pray for my confidence:)
love you alllll!!!!!
ps the biking is SO FUN! sorry i forgot. its my favorite haha i love it!! 
and tracting is so scary!-we are required 1 hour a day)
but i love it. I love meeting the people. and its so funny we always knock on doors of men, and they love us1 it amazes me how accepting and inviting the people are. like its amazing.
the people are so nice and loving and helped me to feel better when i struggle. I'm grateful.
its so hard and i get so nervous, but i always end up feeling very grateful and happy and successful after i feel so down, i guess that's just the way this is going to work.
but i know I'm for a reason, and i just gotta keep working.
I'm thankful its Pday, maybe i can take a nap!
the first 5 minutes of the day are so hard-the alarm goes off and I'm just like no way...but as soon as i get off my knees, its better! haha also at like 7-8pm it cools down and that's when i get so tired also, so its like the best/hard time of the day. but its great
haha i love it!
this week will probs be hotter, so ill let you know how much i die. but itll be okay. know i love love you guys so much, and hearing about your support and everything really helps me so much! more than you realize. thanks for everything.:) love you!
this is my hermana ps:)
Paige and her trainer, Sister Smith from West Jordan

Paige and her MTC district.

Paige and her MTC branch president in Mexico.

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